December 2008
12 posts
I'm Shallow
I have an announcement that has been a long time coming. Are you ready? Jennifer Aniston sucks now. Yeah. She sucks. She’s boring. She’s dating John Mayer. Boring. She has had the same hair for 10 years. I’m over it. Yeah she looks good naked, but whatever, who doesn’t? The California-beach-babe, dirty-blonde-straight-hair-hippie-chic-plain-clothes thing is over. DEAD...
Dec 30th
hiyo
So if you’re reading this from my blog and not your tumblr dashboard, you’ll see that things are a bit different and if you look to your left, you’ll see I clearly have not fully updated the site since it says things like “Put more here” etc etc. I am working on this over the next few days so it’s just gonna look like shit sometimes when you look at it, okay? ...
Dec 25th
Britney: If You Seek Amy
Dear Britney Spears, I love you. Even when other’s drag you down and try to say you’re a crazy trashed up whore, I’ve always defended you by saying “She’s worse than a crazy trashed up whore but ‘I’m a Slave 4 U’ was the JAM!”. But lately, I’m finding it hard to defend even your hot musical stylings. CASE IN POINT: You have a song...
Dec 22nd
Completely Unprovoked: Colin Rodger Part 2
Last night I had a dream that your mom and I got Chinese food and watched college football. It was awesome until she got mad at me for eating all of the peking raviolis and told me to leave.
Dec 22nd
Frigidy
Yesterday morning I woke up with the most bizarre sensation. You know when you touch an ice cube, how it feels kinda.. what’s the word I’m looking for here… um… like its been in the freezer? Well, when I woke up yesterday it felt like my room was a mild freezer! I had to put the blanket on me to be at a comfortable temperature! At first I thought it was just my central air...
Dec 16th
Completely Unprovoked: Colin Rodger
Taylor, I am a fucking car GOD. I know everything there is to know about cars. I know Jay Leno took delivery of a Corvette ZR1 today and its #8 of only about 60 ever made. I know that even though GM says they are going to kill Saturn and Pontiac they are only lying to get funding from John Q. Taxpayer, and I know that the most stolen car of 2008 is the Cadillac Escalade (the least stolen is the...
Dec 10th
Straight Chicken
For years now, Andy and I have been playing a rousing game of “Straight Chicken”. It’s exactly like “Gay Chicken” except this game is played with two straight people that are not attracted to each other. For instance: I will be headed towards the shower and Andy will ask if he can join. Now, I know he doesn’t want to be in the shower with me and I know I...
Dec 9th
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAITLIN DOYLE
Dec 5th
Cold In LA
I realize I’m going to get the shit beat out of me by angry Bostonians here, but it’s cold up in LA. Today, I almost didn’t wear flip flops and I’m not being flippant ( or floppant OHHH!! HIYO!!!) here. That seems like cold to me. It’s cold. I’m going to have to wear a jacket to work. If you find that this angers you, please get your panties out of a bunch and...
Dec 5th
1 tag
Things I Like Love Dig Think Are Neat
I’m going to keep making this list until I die of list-related injuries. 5/21/08 The Beach 5/22/08 Cute funny tattooed boys 5/23/08 Three Day Weekends 5/24/08 Converse Sneakers 5/25/08 Jake Hurwitz and Amir Blumenfeld 5/26/08 Sweet Potato Fries 5/27/08 Bob Schriner’s Advice 5/28/08 New York City 5/29/08 Potential 5/30/08 Saturday night 5/31/08 Jack Plotnick 6/1/08  When...
Dec 5th
55 seconds?
Apparently, the average amount of time someone spends looking at my tumblr is 55 seconds. 55 seconds? That’s five less than 60. (give or take, I haven’t finalized the math) I guess I should be thankful that anyone is looking at my site given that I rarely update it lately. But if you take the time to come here, why not stop and stay awhile? Look at that nice picture of my face up...
Dec 3rd
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Holding Me To My Word...
I need to lose some weight. Actually.. let me rephrase for accuracy. I want to lose weight. So I am going to drastically cut the amount of calories I consume and I am going to slowly, sadly, reluctantly, pathetically at first start exercising. Here is where you come in: If you see me and I don’t look thinner than the last time you saw me, please say something. If you see me eating: ...
Dec 1st