3 years agoWhen your cleaning lady, Michelle, tries to sell you drugs you should act naturally. Don’t stutter your response or bulge out your eyes in alarm. Instead, when she asks you if you “smoke bud” calmly reply that you do not.
Do not elaborate and say that since you’re such a mellow person pot would not be a good drug of choice, and that cocaine, were it not highly illegal and toxic, would better suit your personality. This will send Michelle into a tirade about how she lost 20 years of her life to cocaine and that quitting was the best decision she ever made.
And in the future when she stresses the fact that she does more than just cleaning, and that if you need anything call up old Michelle and she’ll come to the rescue, note that when she says anything this includes, but is not limited to, scoring drugs.
And in case you were looking for clues in the first place that Michelle might be the kind of cleaning lady that would try to sell you drugs, you should have taken notice of the fact that in addition to her mop, vacuum, and cleaning supplies she brought over a Sprite bottle half full of red wine.
Oh, and she has a glass eye.
